Extra Large?
by Croag
Summary: This is a really late Super Bowl story. It was taking up space in my HD, so I figured I'd give it a purpose in life. Mcshep Slash! Established Relation ship...and fluff.


A/N: This is kind of late, but I had it lounging around my HD. So I was just like, "fuck it" and I posted it. Like so. :P A superbowl story! YES! Admit it, you're excited.  
Fluff. This is total and utter fluff. SLASH! Mcshep! Established relationship!  
Disclaimer: I don't own. Makes me sad. sobs and goes emo

John sat in his bed, slouching against the wall, staring at the pages of "War and Peace".

He was _missing_ it!

It was happening right now…and he was missing it.

Even the commercials! What would he do without the commercials? And the kick off? And the obnoxious announcer? And the-

"_John_!" Rodney burst into the room, already unbuckling his pants. Rolling his eyes, John willed the door shut as his scientist muttered more than a few colorful curses as he struggled out of his pants.

"Rodney."

"I just made _the_ scientific discovery in the world! No! In the _universe_!" He started to shuck his pants off.

"That's great, McKay." Rodney stopped mid-shuck to stare at John, looking slightly horrified.

"McKay? _McKay_? We are about to have the hottest sex in the world, and you're calling me _McKay_?" John raised an eyebrow, playing dumb.

"We're going to have sex?"

"Did you _not_ hear me? Biggest scientific discovery in the _universe_! Made by me!"

"…And this equals sex?"

"_Yes_!" the pants were shucked, thrown across the room.

"…Yeah, I'm not in the mood." Rodney was halfway through taking off his shirt, the fabric already covering his face, when he just _froze_. And, well, judging by the yells and muffled rants coming from that shirt, John was happy to hear the muffled version.

Better self esteem that way.

"Rodney…do you know what today is?" The ranting stopped, the shirt was roughly pulled back down, Rodney's ruffled hair and killer glare all pointed straight at him.

"_What_?"

"Do you know what today is?"

"…February fifth?"

"Well…yeah. But what else?"

"Colonel! I am extremely horny right now and-"

"_What_ day?" Rodney gave him a weird look, and then began to awkwardly sing,

"Happy birthday to you...happy birth-"

"It's not my birthday."

"…Happy birthday to…" his eyes nervously flitted around, "E-Elizabeth."

"No."

"Zelenka?"

"No."

"Your dad?" John stared, Rodney rolled his eyes, "Worth a shot."

"It's no one's birthday."

"Parent's anniversary?"

"No, Rodney."

"…Okay, I know it's not _our_ anniversary." John sighed, realizing this was going to take a while.

"It's the Superbowl!" the puzzled look turned deadpan. And even that was quick to turn into annoyance, eyes narrowed, mouth pursed together, one eyebrow raised.

"…And?"

"Rodney! It's the Superbowl _ex el_!"

"…Extra large?"

"No! Roman numerals!" McKay furrowed his brow in thought, and then rolled his eyes.

"…There's been _forty_ of those? Are you kidding me?"

"You don't get it, do you? The Superbowl is going on…and I'm missing it! I've never missed the _Superbowl_ before! Not even when I was a baby!" John sighed, dropping his book to the floor.

"…Uhh..umm…" Rodney nervously shuffled his feet, fingers twitching, "I'll uhh…I uhh…"

"It's okay." John gave him a small smile, "First time for everything, right?" his big brain groped for an answer to John's mood, his madness!

"…But it's-it's just a football game!" he blurted.

"Forget it Rodney."

"But-"

"Dr. Mckay! We need you in the control room for the status report to Earth!" Rodney rolled his eyes.

"Be right there!" he tapped off his radio, and stared at John, biting his lip, "Uhhh…"

"Just go, Rodney."

"John I-"

"Go." Awkwardly, Mckay nodded and left.

1 WEEK LATER… (I know. Looks professional and neat, right? Right.)

"Colonel! There are you!" John raised an eyebrow.

"Mckay…" Rodney grabbed his arms and dragged him down the hall, "Mckay. Where are we-"

"Movie night." John jerked out of his grasp.

"_What_? Today's Monday!"

"Well aren't you observant…"

"Rodney, Movie Night is on Wednesday!"

"Well today's a special movie!" Rodney grabbed his arm again, "Now let's go!" two minutes later, John found himself forced into a chair in a big, empty room, filled with lots of empty chairs, and a big, blank screen.

"…Rodney…where is everyone?"

"Out."

"…What's going on?"

"Just sit there, shut up, and keep looking pretty." John blinked in surprise, Rodney fiddled with the projector, and then-

"Welcome to Superbowl forty! What a night!" crowds were cheering, bands were playing, and the chair beside him squeaked as John just gaped at the screen.

"Is this…"

"That damn Superbowl? Yeah. Consider it a sneak peek for this week's movie." John's gaze slid to Rodney, mouth still slack and open.

Rodney? And…And…

_R-r-r-**romantic**?_

John had to be honest, his mind was boggled.  
"How did you-"

"I requested a recorded DVD of the game during the status report to Earth. Said it would boost Atlantis morale. And uh…some people owed me some favors, and a few a death threats later…we got this room for ourselves." John kept staring at him, and then, slowly, he grinned. Rodney scowled.

"I know that look! Swear to god, Colonel…_one _little googly eyed 'you're such a great guy, Rodney' stare, and I'm _gone!_ Don't you dare go mushy on me!"

"Aw, but Rodney…" he wrapped an arm around his scientist's waist, pulling close. Leaning in, hot breath against thin, brunette hair, a gentle kiss on his forehead, and then, "You still horny?" Before he could blink, John had a leech on his face, sucking and nibbling at his lips. Rodney pulled away, cheeks flushed and eyes half-lidded.

"See? Horny is so _much_ better than fluff!" John grinned, and mashed their lips back together. The game went on in the background, accompanied with cheers and moans and "Oh god yes, right there!"

And if, on Wednesday's movie night, Cadman and Beckett found their chairs slightly…sticky, they didn't say anything. And Zelenka didn't question why Colonel Sheppard and McKay were actually watching the game (Well…at least Sheppard was. McKay has his laptop out) _after_ the uhh… "good" doctor had threatened half the staff just to see the game on Monday. He saw the way McKay was grinning, and how the colonel had his chair scooted closer to Rodney than…necessary. And thought, '_Yup… don't wanna' know…'_ And all was good in Atlantis…

…You know, until the next day came and all hell broke loose…

…Like normal.

A/N:_stares at the fluff and gags_ I disgust myself sometimes. Oh well. Hopefully some of you liked it!


End file.
